Granny Jokes / Recent Jokes

This little girl walks over to her grandmother and asks "Granny, can you show me a magic trick?" "No dear, but I think your grand father knows one." So the little girl walks over to her grandpa and asks "Grandpa, granny says you know some magic tricks, could you show me one?" The grand father looks at her, "Sure, just hop on my lap!" So the little girl jumps on his lap. "Now, can you feel a finger poking up your ass?" asks the grandpa, "Yeah" replies the girl "Well look, no hands!"

Boy #1: Hey! Didja know that my grandfather was once face-to-face with a panther? Boy #2: That’s nothing! My granny was once face-to-face with a lion! It was drooling…coming closer…closer…
Boy #1: Gosh! What’d she do?
Boy #2: She moved away from the cage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beverly Hillbillies
Miss Jane tries to convince Mr. Drysdale to network all the PCs in
the bank, but, typically, he won't spend the money. Frustrated,
Miss Jane pleads with Jed Clampett to persuade Mr. Drysdale to
"put in the LAN," but Jed thinks she said "put in the ham." Jed
then gets Granny to cook up a dozen hams and has Jethro and Ellie
Mae bring them to the bank. When they arrive, everybody is out to
lunch, so Jethro begins to distribute the hams, but is frustrated
when he can't get the coaxial cable to stay attached to the ham
bone. To further complicate matters, Ellie May has brought along
her pet goats, which begin to eat the ham and cable, causing the
the VAX to short out and force an emergency electronic fund
transfer of the Clampett millions to a competitive bank. As Mr.
Drysdale is seen chasing Miss Jane down the hall with a crazed look
in his eye, swinging a ham at her, Jed is heard to remark, more...

This guy walks into a bar and there is this jar with a lot of $10 bills in it. The guy asks why the jar is filled with $$$$$. and the bartenter says it is a game i am holding for the drunks. so the guy asks what the rules are. and the bartender says if u give me $10 i will tell u. so after the guy paid up. the bartender said the rules are, u have to drink a bottle of tabasco sauce with out making a face, go and pull the pit bulls loose tooth out back, and go give the granny upstairs an orgasim. and the guy says "screw that!" and walks off. about 20 minutes later he come back drunk and said ok i will play your game. so he drinks the tabasco sauce and dosent even blink. then he goes out back and you can hear the dog barking at him and then the guy screaming then the dog crying and screaming. so the guy comes back in and says where is the granny with the loose tooth.