Grants Jokes

LOS ANGELES TIMES, September 14:
According to a database maintained by Academic Guidance Services, there are 3, 000 scholarships earmarked for golf caddies, newspaper carriers, glee clubbers, and band members.
Juanita College in Pennsylvania gives grants to needy left-handers.
Parents whose children were born on June 12, 1979 can plan ahead to apply for a scholarship to the Rochester Institute of Technology in honor of the school's 150th anniversary.
Bucknell University gives grants to students who do not use alcohol, tobacco, or narcotics and don't engage in strenuous activities.
A judge in Seattle uses the fines he collects from prostitutes to finance scholarships for their reformed sisters who want to return to school.

Their were three blondes on an island, not to far away from the other side, but far enough not able to swim across.
One of the blondes goes up to a lamp on the sand and rubs the lamp. The genie comes out and says, "
I will give you each one wish."
One of the blondes walks up and says, "
I
wish to be 10 times smarter!"
The genie grants her wish and she builds a raft to go to the other side.
The second blonde walks up to the genie and say, "
I wish to be 100 times smarter!"
The genie grants her wish and she builds a helicopter and flies across.
The last blonde walks up to the lamp and says, "
I wish to be a brunett!"
So the genie grants her wish and she walks across the bridge.

This guy is on a rooftop about to jump off. His wife has left him, he has lost his job and he owes thousands of pounds to the bank.
Just as he finishes his prayers and closes his eyes, ready to jump, Father Christmas taps him on the shoulder.
"Are you OK?" asks Father Christmas. The man explains why he is so miserable and gets ready to jump.
"Stop !" shouts Father Christmas. "I will grant you three wishes on the understanding that you will do me a favour".
"Would you ?" the man replies. "That would be wonderful! Thank you, thank you !"
Father Christmas grants him the three wishes:
1. You shall go home in 1 hour and your wife will be dressed in her sexy underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing for your return, she will have no recollection of her new boyfriend.
2. You shall go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and continue with your work. Your salary will have increased by $350,000. Also, nobody will more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, September 14: According to a database maintained by Academic Guidance Services, there are 3, 000 scholarships earmarked for golf caddies, newspaper carriers, glee clubbers, and band members. Juanita College in Pennsylvania gives grants to needy left-handers. Parents whose children were born on June 12, 1979 can plan ahead to apply for a scholarship to the Rochester Institute of Technology in honor of the school's 150th anniversary. Bucknell University gives grants to students who do not use alcohol, tobacco, or narcotics and don't engage in strenuous activities. A judge in Seattle uses the fines he collects from prostitutes to finance scholarships for their reformed sisters who want to return to school.

Three blondes were stranded in a desert. As they were walking along one day, they find a magic lamp.They rub it and a magic genie comes out.The genie says he will grant them each one wish. The first blonde says she would like a tree.The genie says are u sure? The blonde replies yes, the genie grants the wish and she goes and sits under it.The second blond says she would like some shade under the tree and the genie says are u sure? She replies yes, the genie grants the wish and she goes to sit with the other blonde.Finally, the third blonde says she would like a car door.The genie says r u sure? she replies yes and the genie says r u positive u want a car door? the blonde replies yes and the wish is granted.The blonde picks up the car door and walks over to the other blondes.They ask, why did u wish for a car door? the blonde replies, duh, so when i get hot...i can role down the window!