Grass Jokes / Recent Jokes

One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!" he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" The second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand, the grass at my home is about two feet tall!"

A man has a dog called Mace, which he keeps in the house all the time, because all it does is eat grass. He also has a favorite tool, his wrench, which he uses all the time. One day He looses the wrench. He looks every where for it but can't find it. The dog gets out, eats all his grass and there in the middle of the lawn is his wrench. The man starts singing "A grazing Mace how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me".

A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's caris total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend,"What's happened to your car?""Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer"."OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?""Well, I had to chase him all through the park."

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.' Wow, this is great,' he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass. "Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?" "Yes. Come and join us," they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. I tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked. "Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them." This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he more...

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw
two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to
investigate.“Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man.“We don't have any money for food,” the poor man replied.“Oh, come along with me then.”“But sir, I have a wife with two children!”“Bring them along! And you, come with us too!” he said to the other man.“But sir, I have a wife with six children!” the second man answered.“Bring them as well!”They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”The lawyer replied, “No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall.”

Q. What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock? A. A lawn mooer

Along time ago two Scottsmen are in a pub. One scottsman says, "I'm going to invent a game." The second man asks, "What do you have to do?" The first man says, "You have to get a ball in a hole." The second man asks, "So it's like billiards?" The first man says, "No, its going to be much farther away." The second man asks "So, it's somthing like bowling?" The first man says, "No, it's going to be played on grass, and it's going to twist and turn." So the second man asks, "So it's kind of like croquet?" The first man says, "NO, I'm going to put in tall grass, and water, and sand, and trees, just to piss you off!"So the second man asks, "So you do this once?" The first man replies, "NO, you do it EIGHTEEN TIMES!!"