Grass Jokes / Recent Jokes

A chief of a small island nation was obsessed with the English royalty, and his hobby was collecting thrones. He had wooden ones by the dozen stacked in the upper section of his giant grass covered palace that had many rooms for him and his cabinet. One day, his people presented him with a large stone throne and he had his servants carry it to the upper floor of his hut and he put it in the center of all the wooden thrones. The king was very happy. That evening he rushed home from the hard day of being sovereign, dashed upstairs and flopped into the new throne. When this happened the floor gave away and all the thrones came tumbling down bringing the building with them.
Moral: PEOPLE IN GRASS HOUSES SHOULDN`T STOW THRONES.

The suburban couple, middle-aged and married for very nearly twenty-two years, were out for the Saturday-afternoon ritual with the grass, the bushes and flowers. He was putting Vigoro on the crab grass and she was pruning the rose bushes, but somehow their minds didn't seem to be on their work. The wife seemed especially discontent and was mumbling under her breath about something; then, quite unexpectedly, she stalked over to where the husband was standing, examining at close range a tree fungus on his favorite elm, and gave him a short kick to the ankle.
"Ow-ouch!" exclaimed the husband, seizing the bruised appendage. "What the hell did you do that for?!"
"That," she said, stalking back to her rose bushes, "is for being such a lousy lover!"
The husband thought about this unexpected attack for a minute or two, then he turned and--just as resolutely as she had a few moments before-stalked over and gave his wife a swift and more...

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but youve only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

One day a rich man saw a poor family eating grass in the field. He stopped and invited them to his house.

They thanked him so much, they even kissed his feet.
The man replied: "Don`t worry, the grass in my garden is over a metre long!"

One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass? ” he asked one man. “We don’t have any money for food, ” the poor man replied. “Oh, come along with me then. ” “But sir, I have a wife with two children! ” “Bring them along! And you, come with too! ” he said to the other man. “But sir, I have a wife with six children! ” the second man answered. “Bring them as well! ” They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. ” The rich man replied “No, you don’t understand, the grass at my home is about six inches high! ”

One day a lawyer was riding in his limosine when he saw a guy eating grass. He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass?"

The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can't afford anything thing to eat."

So the layer said, "Poor guy, come back to my house."

The guys says, "But I have a wife and three kids." The lawyer told him to bring them along.

When they were all in the car, the poor man said, "Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you."

The lawyer replied, "You're going to love it there... the grass is a foot tall!"

One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?", he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food.", The poor man replied. "Oh, come along with me then." "But sir, I have a wife with two children!" "Bring them along! And you, come with me too!", he said to the other man. "But sir, I have a wife with six children!" The second man answered. "Bring them as well!" They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says "sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The rich man replied "No, you don't understand, the grass at my home is about three feet tall!"