Grasshopper Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket? Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper!
CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate are cold and starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor more...
A grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bar tender turns to the grasshopper and says " hey, you know we have a drink named after you?"
The grasshopper responds "why in the heck do you have a drink named Bob?"
Chris
A grasshopper walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a drink." The bartender can't believe his eyes and says, "Oh my Gosh, I can't believe this, you're a talking grasshopper!""Do you know we have drink named after you?" The Grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Steve?"
The Original Version
The Ant busts his rear in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up suplies for the winter. The Grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or
shelter so dies out in the cold.
The New Liberal Version
It starts out the same but when winter comes, the shivering
Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant
should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and
starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up and show pictures of the shivering
Grasshopper next to the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food. Americal is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in
a country of such wealth that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer
so? Then a representative of the NAGB (The National Association of Green
Bugs) shows up on Night Line more...
So this grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Hey! Your a grasshopper! We have a drink named after you!".
The grasshopper says "Oh yeah? You have a drink named Leonard?!".