Graveyard Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and
resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather
die than to live another year in prison. Over the years she had
become good friends with one of the prison caretakers.
His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a
graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the
caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker
then got the body and put it in a casket.
Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before
returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the
casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.
Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it
with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would
leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were
kept.
She would slip into the coffin more...

While honeymooning in Cape Cod, the newlyweds decided to visit an historic graveyard to look around.
As they were strolling through the graveyard, the mood struck them. They looked around and not seeing anyone, stripped off their clothes and went at it hot and heavy on a tomb.
The following day, the wife's back was aching from her adventure, so she went to see a doctor. The doctor had her strip so he could examine her.
"Just how old are you, my dear?" the doctor asked.
"I'm 25," replied the woman. "Why do you ask?"
"Because on your backside it says you died in 1819!" the doctor replied.

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.

He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.

Then he realises that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed.

This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.

The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. more...

There is two flats facing a graveyard and a man dies and can not get in that graveyard do you know why?
because he was not dead yet.
by Kieran MacKenzie age 9
also creator of the IRA Garage