Gross Jokes / Recent Jokes
1) Excitable - Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
2) Sociable - Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
3) Cross-eyed - Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
4) Timid - Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.
5) Indifferent - All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
6) Clever - No hands, fixes tie, looks around, usually pisses on floor.
7) Worried - Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
8) Frivolous - Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit flies and bugs.
9) Absent-Minded - Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
10) Childish - Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
11) Sneaky - Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in other stall will be blamed.
12) Patient - Stands very close for a long time, reads with free hand.
13) Desperate - Waits in long line, teeth floating, more...
Jack and Jill were twins who couldn't find dates to the prom. So Jill asked Jack to go with her. Jack said, "No, you're my sister, that's gross." Jill said, "Come on. Promise me if you can't find another date, you'll take me." So Jack said okay. Well, Jack couldn't find a date so he went with Jill. They were just standing by the punch bowl, and Jill asked Jack to dance. Jack said, "No, you're my sister, that's gross." Jill said, "Come on. It'll be fun." So Jack said okay, and they had a great time. After the dance, Jill asked Jack to take her to Makeout Hill. Jack said, "No, you're my sister, It would be gross." Jill said, "We'll just talk, we don't talk anymore." So Jack said okay. They were at Makeout Hill talking, when Jill moved to the backseat. Jill said, "Come on, Jack, take me." Jack didn't argue. When Jack moved on top of Jill, Jill murmured, "You're a lot lighter than dad."
Jack said back, more...
Five people are on a plane, four guys and one girl. Suddenly the engine stalls and they crash. Miraculously all five of them survive the crash but are stranded on a small deserted island. Since these four guys will need to have their natural urges satisfied, they decided to make up a schedule. Each guy would get a week to dick the woman as much as possible, the next week another guy and so on. This arrangement works out great for years, satisfying both the guys and the nymphomaniac woman until she suddenly dies. The first month went by and it was really awful; second month was really bad; third month was almost unbearable; fourth month rolls around and the guys couldn't handle it anymore so they buried her.
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
" I don't know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this...when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"