Grown Jokes

A foursome was playing golf on a rather sunny day in spring. Fred was having some trouble with his swing but wasn't losing by too much. The group approached the 15th tee which was quite near a road and he watched as his partners teed off before him. Just before he was about to tee off a car came down the road and got a flat tire right near them. The woman in the car was quite striking so the other three men decided that they would help her out. Fred, on the other hand, wanted to tee off his shot first. His shot was beautiful. He was quite upset that his friends hadn't seen it. However, he quickly changed his mind as he saw the ball bounce twice on the green and roll into the cup. Just then a flash appeared at his feet and he looked down to see a small man. "I am the hole-in-one fairy and I will grant you a wish for your effort." Fred looked around to make sure no one saw him. If he was hallucinating he didn't want anyone to see him talking to no one. "Are you serious more...

During an International conference, three scientists, an American, a German, and an Indian, were
talking and bragging about the technological advances their respective countries have achieved
in the field of medicine.
The American said "In Washington, there was a baby boy born without arms so we attached
artificial arms on him. And now that he's grown up and became an Olympic professional boxer and
a gold medalist! "
The German replied, "That's nothing to what we have achieved. Back in Berlin, there was a baby
girl born without legs so weattached a pair of artificial legs on her. Now she is a three-time
Olympics arathon gold medalist! "
The Indian interjected " Is that all you have achieved, just gold medalists? In Patna, Bihar
we had a baby boy born without a HEAD! We attached a COCONUT and called him Laloo and he has
grown up and now he is the Chief Minister of Bihar! "

Santa was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission).

Accidentally, the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus. Politely, he asked the saree clad female, standing in front of him, “Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph. ” The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital.

He was surprised to see Banta on the bed next to him, in a still worse condition. Banta started to explain his “Adventure”. He had gone to a remote village on some work & couldn’t finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn’t find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the owner whether he could stay there for the night. The Owner replied” I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can’t allow you to stay”. He approached the next house and asked more...

Signs you've grown up!
1. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

2. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

3. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

4. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p. m.

5. Dinner and a movie - it's the whole date instead of just the beginning of one.

6. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.

7. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

8. A $4. 00 bottle of wine is no longer' pretty good stuff'.

9. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

10. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi, Ho-Ho's.

11. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

12. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

13. You more...

Three scientists, an American, a German, and an Indian, were talking and bragging about the technological advances their respective countries have achieved in the field of medicine.

The American said "In Washington, there was a baby boy born without arms so we attached artificial arms on him. And now that he's grown up and became an Olympic professional boxer and a gold medallist! "

The German replied, "That's nothing to what we have achieved. Back in Berlin, there was a baby girl born without legs so we attached a pair of artificial legs on her. Now she is a three-time Olympics marathon gold medallist! "

The Indian interjected " Is that all you have achieved, just gold medallists? In Patna, Bihar we had a baby boy born without a HEAD! We attached a COCONUT and called him Laloo and he has grown up and now he is the Chief Minister of Bihar! "