Guess Jokes / Recent Jokes
On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - flowers!" "That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!" "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she more...
Minister for Industries, another for Rural Industries, and yet
another for Small Industries: -): -): -)
SL has geared up for massive development. You can see from the no of ministries the amount of development that is going to take place in the next 6 years.
1. There are two ministers to look after the people who do nothing.
2. There is a minister for Transport and minister for High ways. I never knew that Highways were not used for transport. They could created another minitry for railways.
3. You have a fisheries minister and another minister to looking to the fisheries housing. May be they are planning to implement a Work from home policy for the fishermen.
4. One minister for Mahaweli development and another for irrigation and another for power and energy. Who will look into
the resevoirs which do all three functions. I guess it will be all.
5. There is a minister the Tamils in the North and east what about the Tamils in more...
A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbileans over and asks, "So how high can you advance in your organization?" The Priest says "If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop." "Well, could you get any higher than that?" asks the Rabbi." I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I mightbe made an ArchBishop" said the Priest a bit cautiously." Is there any way that you might go higher than that?" "If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal""Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" probed the Rabbi. Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said "I supose that I could beelected Pope, but..."So the Rabbi says "And could you be anything higher than that?, is there any way to go up from being the Pope?" "What!!! I should be the Messiah himself!?!"The Rabbi leaned back and said "One of our boys made it."
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
Bentley’s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta’s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. “The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist. ”
Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it! ”
Q: How has French revolution affected world more...
Once, Isaac Newton came to India and happened to watch a few Tamil movies. The poor man ended up being terribly confused about the validity of the various laws of physics that he had discovered.
Here are a few scenes from the movies that he watched.
1)Rajanikanth has a brain tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long live Rajanikanth!!!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth more...
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says,"Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle." "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?" "I don't like her."