Guess Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a blonde, tried of being made fun of for her hair color, decided that she should trick some people by dying her hair brown. Now, the newly-brunetted blonde went off in search of someone to prove her intelligence to.The first person she came to was a farmer watching his herd of sheep. "What a great opportunity," thinks the blonde. So, she walks up to him and says "Hey, if I can tell you how many sheep are in that whole herd without counting, will you give me one of them?" Now, it was a very big herd, so the farmer says, "Why not? So, what's your guess?""368," the blonde-in-disguise replies.The farmer is shocked, that's exactly the right answer! Well, the blonde claimed her prize, and was smugly walking away, when the farmer ran back up to her."Um, Miss?" he said, "If I can guess your real hair color, will you give me back my dog?"

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother hes fallen in loveand going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, Im goingto bring over three women and you try and guess which one Imgoing to marry."The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful womeninto the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat fora while. He then says,"Okay, Ma. Guess which one Im going to marry."She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle.""Thats amazing, Ma. Youre right. How did you know?""I dont like her."

There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take in their beauty. She noticed the farmer just standing there watching too. She walked up to him asked some questions on raising sheep. She then asked, "If I can guess how many sheep are in your flock, can I have one"? The farmer agreed. She guessed, 387. The farmer said that was correct. So, go take your pick on which one you want. She went into the flock and then to her car. The farmer stopped her, and asked, "If I can guess what your natural hair color is, can I have my DOG back"?

A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi
leans over and asks, "So how high can you advance in your organization?"
The Priest says "If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop."
"Well, could you get any higher than that?" asks the Rabbi.
"I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I
might be made an Arch Bishop" said the Priest a bit cautiously.
"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?"
"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal",
said the priest.
"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" probed the Rabbi.
Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said "I supose that I could
be elected Pope, but..."
So the Rabbi says "And could you be anything higher than that?, is
there any way to go up from being the Pope?"
"What!!! I should be the Messiah more...

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, What do you have in the bag? The blonde replies: I have chickens! The man thinks for a moment and says, If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one? The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, Okay, but I`ll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens, I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi
leans over and asks, "So how high can you advance in your organization?"
The Priest says "If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop."
"Well, could you get any higher than that?" asks the Rabbi.
"I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I
might be made an Arch Bishop" said the Priest a bit cautiously.
"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?"
"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal",
said the priest.
"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" probed the Rabbi.
Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said "I supose that I could
be elected Pope, but..."
So the Rabbi says "And could you be anything higher than that?, is
there any way to go up from being the Pope?"
"What!!! I should be the Messiah more...

Under certain conditions, U.S. taxpayers are required to file an estimated income tax return. A friend of mine is so upset by this that he sends his in without either name or address. His reasoning?

"If they're gonna make me guess how much I'm gonna make, then they can guess who the hell sent it in."