Guess Jokes / Recent Jokes

The world's first/worst lecturer? Guess who...
He only had one publication.
It was in Hebrew.
It is doubted that he wrote it all himself.
He never submitted it for peer criticism.
He never gave any references.
He did not have permission from the ethics board to use human subjects for his experiments.
His students are always told to just read the text book (which is vague)
If there was a lecture, it was on a mountain top and delivered by his son.
When experiments went wrong, he drowned the subjects that didn't fit into his hypothesis.
There were only 10 rules, but no one has ever passed a test.
Scientists have had great difficulty in repeating the experiments which he made.

A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked.
However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1954. 25 in small bills. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why.
That evening they were out for a special dinner at their favorite restaurant. After dinner the woman could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the bottles in the box?"
The man thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these more...

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime, and instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said, "Guess who?"The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess
where!"

A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack. The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?"The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack."The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?"The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, Ill give you both of em!"

A woman was pregnant with triplets when a robber came through her door and shot her three times. One bullet went into each of the children.
At the hospital, the doctor told her that all of her children were fine, but that sometime in their lives, they would pass the bullets in their stool.
Years later, one of the woman's teen-age daughters approached her and said, "Mom! You'll never guess what happened!"
Mom said, "You passed a bullet, didn't you?" Shocked at her mother's reply, the daughter asked how she knew, and Mom told her the story.
A week later the other teenage daughter had the same experience. "Mom!" she said, "You'll never guess what happened to me!" Mom guessed correctly, sat her down and told her the story.
The following week, the woman's teen-age son approached her and exclaimed, "Mom! You'll never guess what happended to me!"
"You pooped a bullet, didn't you?"
"No," said the more...

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."
Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
Q: How has French revolution affected world economic more...

There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my more...