Guessed Jokes

Miss Smith is a kindergarten teacher and today is her birthday. As she walked into her classroom one of her students, Sally, had brought a gift up to her desk.

"Guess what it is!" said Sally.

Knowing that Sally's father owned a bookstore she guessed, "A Book?".

"How did you know?" asked Sally.

Next Dillon brought a gift up to Miss Smith. "Guess what it is!" said Dillon.

Knowing that Dillon's parents owned a florist shop, she guessed, "Flowers?".

"How did you know?" asked Dillon.

Finally, Joey brought up a gift for Miss Smith.

"Guess what it is!" said Joey.

Knowing that Joey's father owned a liquor store, and seeing that the bag was wet, she placed her fingers on the liquid and then licked them. "Rum?" guessed Miss Smith.

"No" said Joey.

She tasted again..."Vodka?" she more...

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

A gas station in Tupelo Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Win Free Sex with Fill-Up." Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged more...

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.
I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

Joe took his blind date to the carnival.

"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get
weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He
guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she
won a prize.

Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over,
Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get
weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they
had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his
dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to
next.

"I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she
was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a
handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was more...