Gum Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, " No." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long now."
Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, " There, there, Monica, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be no gum purchased.
The mother said serenely, " Monica, we'll be through this check out stand more...
Teacher: Rahul, Make A Sentence With Income.
Rahul: I Open The Door And Income The Dog.
Teacher: No, No, That's Not The Way, Try Ransom.
Rahul: When I Saw The Skunk, I Ransom Distance To Get Away.
Teacher: You Are Worse Than I Thought, Try……Gruesome.
Rahul: I Was Not So Tall Last Year, But Since Then I Gruesome.
Teacher: No, Rahul, This Is Your Last Chance. Try Handsome.
Rahul: Handsome Gum To Me?
There once was a girl named Sally Smith. Whenever she chewed gum she would say yes. And whenever she didn't chew gum she would say no.
One day Sally heard a knock at the door. When she opened the door, chewing her gum, she discovered it was the postman. The postman greeted her cheerfully, "Hello there Sally, I have a package for you"
Sally smiled.
The postman said, "Sally would you like me to bring the package inside as it is rather heavy?"
Sally said yes.
The postman said, "Sally would you like me to put the package in your bedroom?"
Sally said yes.
Once they reached Sally's bedroom, the postman turned to sally and said "Sally, would you like me to take that gum out of your mouth and shove it up your arse?"
Sally said yes.
So the postman took the gum out of Sally's mouth and proceeded to shove it up her arse.
The postman asked Sally, more...
There was once a very influential farmer in an obscure part of China. He had a problem, for which he sought the counsel of the two wise men in town. So he summons the two wise men, Hing, who is an scientist, and Ming, who is a sorcerer, and requests that they find a cure for his chickens who are losing their feathers and dying. Hing decides to pay a visit to his mentor at the Agricultural Extension of the local Community College, under whom he studied many years ago. The mentor recommends the book "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Diseases of Chickens, But Were Afraid to Ask". So Hing visits the library, borrows the book, and finds inside the report of a study that finds that feeding the chickens with an infusion of gum tree leaves is often a cure for chickens losing their feathers. Meanwhile back at the ranch, Ming reads obscure writings of ancient wise men, he meditates, and he reads tarot cards. He also tries to read the entrails of a fetal pig. Getting no more...