Gun Jokes / Recent Jokes
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is more...
Laloo & Rabri
went up the pabari
To fetch a bail of court-er
Laloo fell down
And lost his crown
And Rabri reigned ever after.
Wha Wha Black Sheep
Have you pulled the wool?
Yes sir, Yes sir,
Three bags full.
One for my fodder,
One for my dame,
And one for the CBI crying in the lanne.
Are you sleeping, Are you sleeping,
Gujral bhai? Gujral bhai?
Warning bells are ringing,
Warning bells are ringing,
Going going gone.
Hot cross gun,
Hot cross gun,
One a kine, two a kine,
Hot cross gun.
If you have no gangster,
Give it to your son,
One a kine, two a kine,
Hot cross gun.
Little Miss Bharti,
Did a Maha-arti,
So the BJP would always hold sway.
The came a big BSP With Mayavati its USP.
And fightened Miss Bharti away.
Little Lal Advani
Sat with his vabini
Taking his party's rai
He stuck more...
A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head.
Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..."
The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"
Flash - New Weapon in America's Arsenal - Dubbed' The Chicken Gun'
Senate majority leader Howard H. Baker Jr., expressed astonishment to the Senate, over recent news accounts of an Air Force "chicken gun."
It seems the gun is a converted 20-foot cannon capable of hurling dead four-pound chickens at airplanes at 700 miles per hour. .. The armament is used to help find ways to reduce accidents caused by jets hitting birds.
"My first reaction to this story was one of bitterness," Baker told colleagues.
"I wonder why a' special classified briefing' had not been set up for members of Congress on the new chicken gun and I wondered if Secretary of Defense Casper Weinberger was planning one."
Baker also wondered aloud "how far along the Soviet Union is with the deployment of their' chicken gun', and how will our Minuteman, Midgetman and Sparrow missles get along with this new more...
Flash - New Weapon in America's Arsenal - Dubbed' The Chicken Gun'
Senate majority leader Howard H. Baker Jr., expressed astonishment to the Senate, over recent news accounts of an Air Force "chicken gun."
It seems the gun is a converted 20-foot cannon capable of hurling dead four-pound chickens at airplanes at 700 miles per hour. .. The armament is used to help find ways to reduce accidents caused by jets hitting birds.
"My first reaction to this story was one of bitterness," Baker told colleagues.
"I wonder why a' special classified briefing' had not been set up for members of Congress on the new chicken gun and I wondered if Secretary of Defense Casper Weinberger was planning one."
Baker also wondered aloud "how far along the Soviet Union is with the deployment of their' chicken gun', and how will our Minuteman, Midgetman and Sparrow missles get along with this new weapon..."
Baker went on to wonder if the Navy more...
fter all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assasin position - two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her." The first man said. "You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent replies, "Then you’re not the right man for this job." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can’t kill my wife." The agent replies "You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun more...