Habits Jokes

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude.
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
"Who is it?", calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice tits," says the man, "where do you want these blinds"?

A mother complained to her doctor about her daughter's
strange eating habits.
"All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax.
What will happen to her, doctor?," the mother inquired.
"Eventually," said the doctor, "she will rise and shine!"

"Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
"This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
"Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"Oh, Hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
"I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"
"It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"
"Just pacing myself for the all-nighter more...

Several elderly nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out.They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window.After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old? The nun Replied, "Nah, don't you know old habits are hard to break!!

A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits.
"All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?"
Eventually" said the Doctor, "she will rise and shine!"