Haircut Jokes / Recent Jokes
I accompanied my wife to a parlor when she went to get a haircut.
Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle quite nice, and I just asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the photo.
"Leave some ID, a driver's license or a credit card," she said.
(Taken Back) "But my wife is here getting a haircut," I explained.
"Yes, I know!" she replied. "But I need something you'll come back for."
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? Its crowded & dirty and full of Italians. Youre crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?""Were taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!""TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "Thats a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and theyre always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?""Well be at the downtown International Marriott.""That dump! Thats the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and theyre overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?""Were going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.""Thats rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. Hell look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. Youre more...
A twelve year old girl was taken to the barber shop for a haircut with her grandfather. As her grandfather was getting a haircut she was standing next to the barber's chair eating a Twinkie.
The barber said, "Say there lass, you're getting hair on your Twinkie."
The young girl looked up at the barber and said, "Yes, and I'm getting boobs too!"
TEENAGE ASIAN GANGSTERS Your car probably looks like this by now. Wears a Buddha bracelet on wrist. Start smoking cigarettes by the age of 13. Wear some really baggy pants with a white logo T-shirt. Have either the typical Asian haircut with long dyed bangs or some slicked back hair. Still trying to lose virginity to some clueless babe. Kiss up to older gang members to increase rank. OLDER ASIAN GANGSTERS Sport a lot of gold jewelry to show off. Wear nice tight pants, with HK-Style See-Through Shirts. Been Smoking for at least 10 years. Still trying to lose virginity to some clueless babe. Tell stories about glorious past to younger gangsters. Treat the teenagers good so they can introduce you to young virgin girls. Living at home with parents, still! Slick back hair, or just regular Asian haircut. Show off with guns and drugs which actually belong to someone else. Hang out in gambling dens and massage parlors, but never do anything but watch the other people. LEADERS OF ASIAN GANGS more...
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.' 'I'm afraid not, sir,'' the clerk told him,' 'but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes.''
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.
Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read,' 'Manicures - 25 cents.''' 'Why not?'' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a huge sign that read,' 'This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away more...
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.
Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures - 25 cents." "Why not?" thought the salesman.
He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What more...
One day the barber gave a priest a haircut. When the priest attempted to pay the barber, he refused the money, saying "You are a priest and do God's work." The next morning, the barber found a dozen bibles on his shop's doorstep.
That day, a policeman came to the barber for a haircut and again the barber refused payment, saying " you protect the public." The following morning the barber found a dozen donuts on his shop's doorstep.
A lawyer then came into the shop for a haircut and again the barber refused his money, saying "you serve the justice system." The next morning the barber arrived at his shop and found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.