Happen Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two buddies, Jim and Bill, decided to go on a ski trip, so they loaded up Jim's SUV and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. Pulling into a nearby farmhouse, they asked the attractive woman who answered the door if it would be possible for them to spend the night.
"I know it's terrible weather out there, but I'm recently widowed and I'm afraid the neighbors would talk if I allowed you to stay in my house," she said.
"No need to worry," Jim replied, "we'd be happy to sleep in the barn."
The woman agreed, so they made their way to the barn for the night.
Approximately nine months later, Jim received a letter from the widow's attorney and immediately phoned Bill.
"Bill, my good friend, do you recall that good looking widow at the farm we stayed at?" Jim asked.
"I do," Bill replied.
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night and go up to the house to more...

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Pope's Crossword Puzzle "A man boarded a plane and, much to his surprise, found that he was seated right next to the Pope himself. He had always been a big fan of the Pope but, being a shy man, he wasn't sure how to go about striking up a conversation with him.
As he glanced over, he noticed that the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. "This is great," he thought to himself, "I love crossword puzzles. Maybe if he gets stuck, he'll ask me for help."
After a short time, the Pope turned to the man and said, "Pardon me, but would you happen to know a four-letter word that refers to a woman and ends in 'unt'?"
One more...

Are Major Asteroid As Dangerous As Predicted? The Answer Arrives in 2003
London (SatireWire.com) — Disappointed after failing to take advantage of Earth's relatively near miss with a large asteroid on Monday, scientists today excitedly unveiled what they called an "asteroid chute" that they said will direct the next massive space object directly into Earth's path, where it can be studied more closely.
Scientists hope the redirected asteroid, now expected to strike Earth by June of 2003, will also settle a pair of long-running debates: Did an asteroid cause the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago? And what size must an asteroid be in order for it to render a planet uninhabitable?
According to Michael Banio of Great Britain's Royal Astronomical Society, asteroid "2001 YB5" passed within 375,000 miles of Earth on Monday, but it was still too far away for useful studies to be conducted. And because YB5 was not discovered until December, more...

A scientist was going to do experiments on the functions
of the brain. So after gathering three volunteers, he decided
to see what would happen when he removed the left half of the
brain from the first man. After doing the operation he put
the man into a rowing machine who proceeded to row and count:
"one...three...five...seven..."
He wrote down the results and decided to see the effects
of removing the right side of the brain on his second volunteer.
After the operation he put the second man in the rowing machine
and he counted while he rowed: two...four...six...eight.
Finally, the scientist wanted to see what would happen
if he removed the entire brain. After doing so on the third
volunteer, he put him in the rowing machine and the patient
counted: uno...dos...tres...quatro...