Hardware Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three IT bubbas were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The systems analyst is driving and they come to a steep hill. He finds that the brakes have stopped working and the car is accelerating out of
control. He pumps the emergency brake, downshifts the gears, and rubs the wheels' rims against the curb. He finally wrestles the car to a stop. The three climb out and assess the situation. Hardware tech: "Let's try and fix it. I'll crawl under the car and take a look." Systems analyst: "No. I think we should get someone qualified to fix it, a specialist in brakes." Programmer: "Why don't we get back in and see if it happens again?"
For those born before 1945:
Consider the changes we witnessed. We were before TV, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, xerox, plastic, contact lenses, and the pill. Also before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams, and ball-point pens. Before dryers, air-conditioners, dip-dry clothes, and before man walked on the moon.
We got married first and then lived together.
In our time closets were for clothes, fast food was what you ate during a fast. We were before house husbands, gay rights, computer-dating, dual careers, and computer marriages. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, artificial hearts, word processors, e-mail, yoghurt, and guys wearing earrings. For us timesharing meant togetherness. A chip meant a piece of wood, hardware meant hardware, and software was not even a word.
In 1940' Made in Japan' meant junk and the term' making out' referred to how you did in exams. Pizzas, and instant coffee were unheard of.
Smoking was fashionable, grass more...
The Story of Micro and MiniMicro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user. His broad-bandprotocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing.One evening he arrived home, just as the Sun was crashing and had parked hisMotorola 6800 in the main drive (he missed the 5100 bus that morning ), whenhe noticed an elegant piece of hardware escorting her daisy wheels in hisgarden. He thought to himself, "She looks user-friendly," "I'll see if she'dlike an update tonight."Mini was her name, and she was delightfull, engineered with eyes like COBOL anda Prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals networking all overthe place.He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin 32 bit floatingpoint processors and inquired "How are you Honey Well?." "Yes I am well," sheresponded, batting her optical fibres engagingly and smoothing her console overher curvilinear more...
There was this male engineer, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for the first time. It was wonderful, the experience of his life. He was being waited on hand and foot. But, it did not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down almost instantly. The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea mightily for a ship to come to his rescue. One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came this rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or at least seen in 4 more...
Your momma's like a hardware store, 5 cents a screw.
Q: How are a blonde and a hardware store similiar?
A: 10 cents a screw!