Hardworking Jokes / Recent Jokes

Always walk with a document in your hands:
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. Those with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make certain you carry loads of stuff home with you at night. This will generate the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like 'work' to the casual observer. You can send/receive personal email, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These are not exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they aren't bad either. When you get caught by the boss, and you *will* get caught, your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable more...

10. Never walk without a document -- People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're headed for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're headed for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do.
9. Use computers to look busy -- Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
8. more...

Voice Mail. Never answer your phone if you have voicemail. People don't call you just because they want to giveyou something for nothing - they call because they want YOUto do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all yourcalls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mailmessage for you and it sounds like impending work, respondduring lunch hour when you know they're not there - it lookslike you're hardworking and conscientious even though you'rebeing a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the methodof screening incoming calls and then returning calls whennobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that thecaller will give up or look for a solution that doesn'tinvolve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can everhear is: "Ignore my last message. I took care of it". If yourvoice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it canhold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way todo that is to never erase any incoming messages. If more...

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy.

Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim more...

1 Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they’re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do. 2 Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like work to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that everybody from the computer revolution expected but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss–and you will get caught–your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use the new software, thus more...