Haryanvi Jokes

VERY brave Haryanvi who feared nothing was employed as a keeper of lions in a zoo. The lions held him in awe and respect. The only one the Haryanvi feared was his quarrelsome wife. If he was late returning home from the local theka, she gave him hell.

One evening he was. later than usual and rather than face his irate wife decided to spend the night with the lions. The wife looked for him everywhere she thought he might be. Finally she went to the zoo and found him fast asleep resting his head on the belly of the biggest lion.

"You bloody coward!" She screamed, " Vaisey to bahut bahadur bantaisai; ajdeykh lee teyree bahaduri" (You make yourself out to be such a brave man; today I've seen what a coward you can be.)

A Haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death.

"The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him.

"Main to lut jaoonga - I' ll be ruined," exclaimed the Haryanvi.

"My father was 182 cms tall.

Seen behind a bus in Haryana:
Jaat risky, after whisky.

A Haryana Jat who had been irritated by his failure to answer any of the riddles put to him by a clever bania said angrily:' All right, now you answer this riddle: What is hung on a wall, is red, drips and speaks?'
After a while the bania admitted he did not know the answer.
'It is a picture!', said the Jat triumphantly.
'A picture? It can be hung on a wall but it is not always red,' protested the bania.
'Then paint it red.'
A picture doesn't drip; its dry,' protested the bania again.
'Put fresh paint on it and it will drip.'' But whoever heard of a picture talk!'
'That's right!', replied the Jat,' I added that to make sure a cunning bania like you would not get the answer.'

A HARYANVI peasant being taken ill came to Delhi and was admitted to the All India Institute of Medical Sciences. Internee medical students came round in turns to examine him.

Being Bengalis, Tamils and Punjabis none of them could understand what the ailing Haryanvi was saying to them in his dialect.

Ultimately a Haryanvi lad working as a compounder in the hospital pharmacy came in, and asked, "Taoo, tainey kay hogaya (Uncle what's gone wrong with you)?"

The peasant beamed: "Rey chhoray, daktar to too sey, bakee to sab kampoder laagain sey (O boy, you must be the real doctor, those others appear to be compounders)."