Counted Jokes

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

If ugliness was counted in bricks, yo momma would be the Great Wall of China!

Mommy, mommy, in class today we did ABC but I said "ABCDEF." Is that because I am blonde?
Yes, dear that's because you're blonde.
Mommy, mommy, we counted one, two, three, but I counted one, two, three, four five, six. Is that because I'm blonde?
Yes, dear, it's because you are blonde.
Mommy, mommy, everyone else in the class doesn't even need a bra, but I wear a "C" cup. Is that because I'm blonde?
No, dear. It's because you're 22.

Once Banta went to Bombay. While passing through a road he saw a very high building.
He was amazed to see it, and decided to count its stories. As he was doing so a townsman saw him and tried to befool him.
So he approached Banta and asked, "What are you doing?"
When he was told the answer, the townsman said that one had to pay two rupees for every storey counted.
"How many have you counted?"
Banta said ten and gave the man twenty rupees.
Walking away Banta was very happy to think how he has befooled the other man for he had counted twenty.

Johnny had just moved to a new town and was attending the first day of Grade Three. As a test, the teacher asked the students to count to 50. Some did very well, and counted as high as 30 or 40, with only a few errors. Others couldn't count past 20. Johnny did extremely well though. He counted past 50 and right up to 100 without any mistakes at all.
He was so excited, he ran all the way home and told his father how well he had done. His father nodded and told him, "That's because you're from Alabama, son."
The next day in language class, the teacher asked the students to recite the alphabet. Since it was Grade Three, most of them could make it halfway through without very much trouble. Some made it as far as S or T, but Johnny rattled off the alphabet perfecting, from beginning to end.
Again he rushed home and bragged to his father how well he was doing in his new school. His dad, knowingly, nodded and explained, "That's because you're from Alabama, more...