Hazzard Jokes / Recent Jokes

You might be a redneck if...
You don't know what a redneck is.
You're still upset that they canceled "The Dukes of Hazzard".
You thought ER was ET's cousin.
You think a strip joint is where they disassemble cars.
You are in 6 grade and the only one in your family that can write your name.
You've ever been stuck in your own driveway.
You refer to your dog as the dishwasher.
Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color.
You repair your car in the autoparts store parking lot.
You can name all the characters from the "Dukes of Hazzard".
You recite lines from "The Dukes of Hazzard".
You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues.
You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.
You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes channels.
Your idea of a fancy dessert is "moon pie ala mode".
You just bought your family their more...

You might be a redneck if...

Your wife gets a hunting license so you can tag your second buck.

You have all the "Dukes of Hazzard" episodes on tape.

You can give a summary of all the "Dukes of Hazzard" episodes.

You think that Roe v. Wade is a decision you make when crossing the creek.

It takes you and 31 others in the same room to show off a full set of teeth.

You've ever stood outside a K-mart for more than an hour arguing with the manager about the shirt and shoes law.

You've ever gone Christmas shopping at the dollar store.

You've ever shoplifted Spam.

You don't understand why Bo and Luke never tried to get it on with Daisy.

Your son has ever stolen disected frogs from Biology class so that your family won't go hungry.

You might be a reneck if...

You've ever been stuck in your own driveway.

You refer to your dog as the dishwasher.

Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color.

You repair your car in the autoparts store parking lot.

You can name all the characters from the "Dukes of Hazzard".

You recite lines from "The Dukes of Hazzard".

You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues.

You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.

You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes channels.

Your idea of a fancy dessert is "moon pie ala mode".

You name your twin boys Jack and Daniel.You ask your 10-year old son how to spell a word.Your dog is your alarm clock.Your wife gets a hunting license so you can tag your second buck.You have all the "Dukes of Hazzard" episodes on tape.You can give a summary of all the "Dukes of Hazzard" episodes.You think that Roe v. Wade is a decision you make when crossing the creek.It takes you and 31 others in the same room to show off a full set of teeth.

jesus and an old man are playing golf. they come to the third hole a 521 yd par 5. jesus tees off and hits a 300 yd drive straight down the middle of the fairway. the old man tees off and drives the ball 426 yds into the water hazzard where a thrtle swims under the ball and carries it to the other side. a fish swims under the ball hits it with its nose and knocks it out of the water onto the oppisate edge of the hazzard. a squrriel picks up the ball and carries it to the edge of the green and drops it. just then a rabbit hops by and kicks the ball across the green; it stops on the edge of the cup an earth worm pokes its nose out and gently pushes the ball into the cup for a hole in one. jesus looks at the old man and says "ok dad stop showing off and lets play golf"