Head Jokes / Recent Jokes

Teacher: What Is A Desert? Reshma: Where Nothin Grows Teacher: Give An Example? Reshma: My Fathers Head

A couple hobbled into a Washington (state) emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist, and the woman had hers around her head.They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man.While in the act she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go....YEEOOOOOOOUCH!

by Robert Chen
You should not attempt any these things. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
11. Instead of getting a fork, knife, and spoon, get three spoons. Cut your meat with them and pretend not to notice.
12. Do not to use glasses. Anytime you feel like having a drink, go up to the liquid dispenser, wrap your mouth around it, and press the button. Complain that it goes too fast.
13. Burp to the tune of Jingle Bells.
14. Stand next to the salad bar. Every time someone reaches for some food, yell, "Hey!" and shake your head.
15. Remark on how the food's sanitation is open to question. Recall the time you saw the chef blow snot rocks into the food "for seasoning." Ask the person next to you to be your Food Tester.
16. Enter the dining hall half naked. If you're not immediately removed from the premises, sit next to someone eating. Ask him or her how they're enjoying their meal.
17. Ask how the lettuce was more...

A man has three daughters between the ages of 3 and 7.
The oldest daughter comes up to the father and asks, "Dad, why am I named Rose?"The father responds by saying "Because on the day you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."The next day the middle daughter asked the father, "Daddy, why am I called Daisy?"The father again responded by saying "Because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."An hour went by and the youngest daughter was screaming gibberish.The father looked up at her and yelled, "Shut up, Brick!"

There were three ladies. A blonde, a burrnett and a red head. These three women were runing from the cops so they went and hid in a barn. The burrnett hid in a chichen suite, the red head hid in the cow suite, and the blonde hid in an empty potatoe sack. the cops then came in and kicked the chicken suite and the burrnett went cluck, cluck, cluck. so the cops moved on, they moved to the cow suite, they then kicked it . the red head went moooooooooooo. Then they kicked the sack of potatoes and the blonde went pootttaaatttoooeeesss.

A Texan died and ascended into Heaven. St. Peter met him and welcomed him, saying "You will certainly enjoy Paradise."
The Texan shook his head sadly and said "I always thought that TEXAS was Paradise."
St. Peter said "Well, let me show you what we have to offer." He took the Texan to an area that had a beautiful river flowing through it with wildlife and flowers everywhere. "Isn't this beautiful?" said St. Peter
The Texan replied, "Yes, but not as pretty as the area around SAN ANTONIO."
Somewhat ruffled, St. Peter took him to another area where there were rolling hills, white tail deer and bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush everywhere. "Now" said St. Peter "Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?"
The Texan paused and said "Yes, it is beautiful but it does not hold a candle to the TEXAS HILL COUNTRY in the springtime."
Becoming more upset, St. Peter then took the Texan to a more...

A business man was driving along when he spotted a hippie thumbing for a ride. He stopped to pick him up. The hippie sat in the front of the car, bopping and snapping his fingers to some beat in his head.
The business man approached a stop sign and couldn't see clearly to his right, so he asked the hippie if there was anything coming from the right.
"Just a dog, man..just a dog"
So the business man pulled out and CRASH!!
A few days later the business man woke up in a hospital with his arms and legs hung in traction. He looked over and saw the hippie in the bed next to him, his arms and legs also suspended in traction - still bopping and snapping his fingers to some beat in his head.
The business man asked, "Hey, I thought you said there was just a dog coming from the right!?"
Said the hippie, still snapping his fingers in rhythm, "Yeah man, like Greyhound! man..."