"Deadly" joke

Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day.

The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine.

As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?"
"Head up," said the doctor.
"Blindfold or no blindfold?"
"No blindfold."

So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor's neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.

Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine.
"Head up or head down?" said the executioner.
"Head up."
"Blindfold or no blindfold?"
"No blindfold."

So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped an inch above the chemist's neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.

Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine.
"Head up or head down?"
"Head up."
"Blindfold or no blindfold?"
"No blindfold."

So the executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out:

"WAIT! I see what the problem is!".

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

370
194

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

255
97

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because,' It's a lot of money!'

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her more...

35
8

The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
-----
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend more...

23
2

A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it more...

44
6
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 5 vote(s). 60% are positive. 0 comment(s).