Headache Jokes / Recent Jokes
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache? Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then youll have a bad headache.
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?"
"It's for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He replies, "Gotcha!"
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asks, "What's that for?"
"It's for your headache", he replies
"But I don't have a headache", she states.
He replies, "Gotcha!"
Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees--always willing to work overtime and go the extra mile when needed. Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn't making enough money to warrant two employees; he would have to lay one off.
But both Sarah and Jack were such good workers he was having trouble finding a fair way to do it. He decided that he would watch them work and the first one to take a break would be the one he would lay off. So, he sits in his office and watches them work.
Suddenly, Sarah gets a terrible headache and needs to take an aspirin. She gets the aspirin out of her purse and goes to the water cooler to get something to wash it down with.
Mr. Smith follows her to the water cooler, taps her on the shoulder and says, "Sarah, I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off."
And Sarah says, "Can you jack off? I have a headache."
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a 'kiss?' " So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable." And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a 'caress?'" So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?'" So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind more...
One morning at the law office, one lawyer looked at the other and said, "Wow, you look really terrible this morning." The other lawyer replied, "Yeah, I woke up with a headache this morning and, no matter what I try, I can't seem to get rid of it." The first lawyer told him, "Whenever I get a headache like that, I take a few hours off during the day, go home, and make love to my wife. Works every time for me." Later that afternoon, the two lawyers met again. The first told the second, "You know, you look 100% better than this morning." The second replied, "Yeah, that was great advice you gave me. You've got a beautiful house, too. "
IT'S NOT EASY BEING A GUYPity us men......... If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a sissy. If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your but and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive jerk. If you thump her, it's wife bashing. If she thumps you, it's self defense. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you more...