Hearing Jokes / Recent Jokes
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
A research study has found that men over 40 who take Viagra are twice as likely to report hearing loss--gives new meaning to the term "hard of hearing."
There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a carribean cruise. The wife, unfortunately, forgot her hearing aides at home... Upon arriving to the cabin that was to be theirs during the trip, they noticed that it had 2 bunk beds. So, as they were retiring for the first nite, the husband says to his wife, "Up, or down?". The wife inexplicably removes all her clothing and makes love to her husband all nite long. The next nite, the husband wonders if he'll get lucky again... So, he says to his wife, "Up, or down?" She again removes all her clothing and makes love to him all nite long. This continues for 2 glorious weeks. When they arrive home from their trip, the wife retrieves her hearing aides. As they retire for the first nite home, the husband decides to try the magic words again... "Up, or down?" His wife says, "What?". To which he replies, "During the whole trip, my dear, I said those words every nite and more...
Santa realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.
"How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.
"That depends," said the salesman. "They run from Rs 20 to Rs 2,000."
"Let's see the Rs 20 model," he said.
The clerk put the device around Santa's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.
"How does it work?" Santa asked.
"For Rs 20 it doesn't work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"
He entered in one of the Watch Shops in Manhattan and went one round all through the shop.
One of the Salesmen invited him and asked him about his requirements. He wanted one Gents Wrist Watch. The Salesman showed him one of the best choice in his shop.
Pyara was impressed by the piece and asked the price of the watch. The salesmen tole him it is $100/-. Hearing the price he recollected one of his friend`s piece of advice that in Manhattan all items are doubly charged. Taking into consideration of his friend`s advice he started negotiating.
He told the Salesman if it is for $50/- he is interested. The Salesman did not want to lose the business. He came down with the price $80/-
Again Pyara wanted the Watch for $40/-. Then the salesman told "no no I will charge you $50/- last price".
Again Pyara wanted the watch for $25/-. Hearing this the Salesmen got annoyed and told Pyara he is giving the Watch Free Of Cost.
Pyara was happy and asked the more...
Standing before the judge during an alimony hearing, the man said, “As God is my judge, I do not owe that madwoman money! ”
The judge calmly replied, “He isn’t. I am. You do. ”