Hearing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

A man entered a bar, sat down and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he suddenly heard a voice say, "Nice shirt."
He looked around and saw that the bar was empty, except for himself and the bartender.
He took a few more sips and this time the voice said, "Cool tie."
At this, the man called the bartender over.
"I must be losing my mind," he said to the bartender. "I keep hearing voices saying nice things to me, but there's no one in here but us."
"Oh," chuckled the bartender, "it's the peanuts."
"It's the what?" asked the man in disbelief.
"You heard me," replied the bartender. "It's the peanuts... they're complimentary."

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An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have the y got a verdict yet?" The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? more...

An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He finally went to a doctor one day, and he was fitted with an exceptional hearing aid.The old geezer returned a month later for a checkup, and the doctor remarked, "Your hearing is perfect! Your family must really be pleased that you can hear again."The old geezer replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations... and in that time I've changed my will three times!"

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a
set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times in the last week alone!"