Hearse Jokes / Recent Jokes

One fall day, Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearsegoing down the street, followed by another hearse, followed by aman walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200men walking in single file.Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse andasked who was in the first one. "My wife," the man replied."I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?""My dog bit her and she died."Dave was taken aback. "And who's in the second hearse?""My mother-in-law. My dog bit her too and she died as well."Dave asked, "Can I borrow your dog?""Get in line."

One fine autumn day, Same was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, follwed by a dog, and then about two hundred men walking in single file.
Intrigued, Same went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
"My wife," the man replied.
"I'm sorry," said Same. "What happened to her?"
"My dog bit her and she died."
Same then asked the man who was in the second hearse.
The man replied, "my mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."
Same thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?"
The man sighed. "Get in line"

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her
morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession
approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long
black hearse about 50 feet behind the
first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary
woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance
back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman was so curious that she respectfully
approached the woman walking the dog and said,
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a
bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this.
Whose
funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was
trying to help more...

One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Bill, "what happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?" To which the man replied, "Get in line." Animals
A blind guy "One morning a blind guy was walking down the street.
As he was walking he passed by a fish market, took a whiff, and said "Good morning ladies!"

A man was watering is lawn one day when he looked and coming up the street was two hearse's followed by a man, his dog and a single file line of about 200 men. The guy watering his lawn thought this was rather odd and decided to ask the first guy (with the dog) what was going on. The guy said "that's my wife in the first hearse, my dog bit her and she died". The guy watering the lawn said, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that, what about the second hearse?". The other guy said "well thats my mother-in-law, my dog also bit her and she died". The guy with the lawn thinks for a minute and says, "can I borrow your dog?". The guy with the dog responds, "Back of the line!".

A city gent comes out of a restaurant and sees a funeral procession. It was a strange one. There were two hearses, behind which a man walked with a black dog on a lead followed by about a dozen men in single file.
Curiosity got the better of our city gent who went up to the man with the dog and said: "I have never seen a funeral procession like this - what really happened?"
The man replied: "The front hearse contains my wife who was killed by this dog. My mother in law is in the second hearse. She went to save my wife but the dog killed her also."
The city gent offered his condolences and walked away but having remembered something, he ran back to the man, tapped him on the shoulder and asked: "Can I borrow your dog please?"
"Join the queue" said the man!

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A Black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file. Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."

"What happened to her?"

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to more...