Procession Jokes

A golfer and his buddies where playing a big round of golf for $200. At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten foot putt to win the round, and the $200.
As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by. The golfer set down his putter, took his hat off, placed it over his chest, and began to wait for the funeral procession to pass. After it passed, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt.
One of his buddies said, "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen. I can't believe you stopped playing, possibly loosing your concentration, to pay your respects."
"Well, we were married for 25 years!"

AMEN:
The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN:
1. Parish information, read only during the homily.
2. Catholic air conditioning.
3. Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR:
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER:
A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN:
A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN:
The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
INCENSE:
Holy Smoke!
JESUITS:
An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH:
The original "Jaws" story.
JUSTICE:
When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELIEISON:
The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI:
The most famous trio to attend a baby more...

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

A woman walked out of a coffee shop just in time to see a very strange sight.
Moving slowly down the street was a funeral procession which consisted of a hearse followed by another hearse, followed by a woman walking a dog, followed by 200 women in a long line.
The procession was moving slowly and her curiosity got the best of her.So she walked up to the woman with the dog.
I hope you don't mind me asking, who is in the first hearse?
That's my husband. He was attacked by our dog and killed.
Well, who is in the second hearse?
That's my mother in law. She tried to save him and was killed by the dog too.
Is this the dog, she asked?
"Yes" said the widow.
The first woman thought about it for a minute and then asked. "Can I borrow your dog?"
Sure, said the widow,"get in the line".

A young man and an old man were playing a round of golf. When they got to the 18th hole, which was along a road, a funeral procession was driving by. The old man removed his cap and bowed his head until the funeral procession drove by.
"That was very nice of you to be so respectful to that funeral procession," remarked the young man.
The old man replied, "That is the least I could do. I was married to that woman for 45 years."