Putt Jokes

A golfer and his buddies where playing a big round of golf for $200. At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten foot putt to win the round, and the $200.
As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by. The golfer set down his putter, took his hat off, placed it over his chest, and began to wait for the funeral procession to pass. After it passed, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt.
One of his buddies said, "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen. I can't believe you stopped playing, possibly loosing your concentration, to pay your respects."
"Well, we were married for 25 years!"

Are you wearing space pants, 'cause your butt is out of this world!

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one fourth of your sex life?" Thinking that the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one." The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?" Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay," and makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of more...

An older couple are playing in the annual club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match.
On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, “I cannot believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my dick. ”
The wife just looked over at her husband, smiled and said, “Yes dear, but it was much harder! ”

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, “I’d give anything to sink this next putt. ”
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, “Would you give up a fourth of your sex life? ”
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says, “Okay, ” and sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, “Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole. ”
The same stranger moves to his side and says, “Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life? ”
The golfer shrugs and says, “Sure. ”
He makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win.
Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, “Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match? ”
The golfer says, “Certainly! ” He makes the eagle.
As more...