Heather Jokes / Recent Jokes

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi! My name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi! My name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi! My name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the more...

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better. This is one of those. It is a real letter submitted to the IRS the midst of 1995s weird and bizarre denial of dependents, exemptions and credits. The letter speaks for itself.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax return. Thank you! I have questioned whether or not these are my children for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair that, since they are minors and no longer my responsibility, the government should know something about them and what to expect over the next year. Please do not try to reassign them to me next year and reinstate the deduction. They are yours! The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Heather!
Heather who?
Heather your nest!

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."

John woke up one morning with an enormous erection, so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened, though, and was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John wrote a note, called to his little boy, and asked him to bring the note to his wife. It read:
The tent pole is up,
The canvas is spread,
The hell with breakfast,
Come back to bed.
Heather answered the note with one of her own and asked her son to take it to her husband. The note read:
Take the tent pole down,
Put the canvas away,
The monkey had a hemorrhage,
No circus today.
John read the note and scribbled a reply. He asked his son to take it to his wife. The note read:
The tent pole's still up,
And the canvas still spread,
So drop what you're doing,
And come give me some head.
Heather answered the note and asked her son to deliver it to her husband. The more...

One day Heather was looking in the mirror and stumbled across a chin hair that was black on their chin. Her cousin (and best friend) looked at her chin and decided to pluck it for her. So heather went upstairs to get the tweezers and heather randomly said "ill get the tweezhers" so yea, it became a joke between us. END OF STORY! HAVE A GOOD DAY!