Heave Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    MALE VERSION
    First I was afraid I was petrified
    At the ugly slapper that was lying by my side
    I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head.
    If I'd known for just one second you'd assault me in your bed…
    I tried to go, walk out the door
    But you've been sitting on my legs and I can't feel them anymore
    And now you're sitting on my face, my nose has vanished - not a trace,
    I only hope that your big knickers aren't made of liquorice lace
    I want to go, I've got to leave
    Before your fat and naked body makes me want to heave
    Only hope that no one saw me walking home with such a slut.
    God the things that you get up to when you're half cut.
    Please let me go, I'm getting scared
    There's nothing I can do to stop those ugly breasts from being bared.
    I think that I must have been mad,
    God what made me want to court her?
    With t*ts that look like Tesco bags I've just filled up with more...

    Do blind eskimoes heave seeing-eye sled dogs?
    Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
    Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
    How come wrong numbers are never busy?
    Do radioactve cats have 18 half-lives?

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