Henry Jokes / Recent Jokes

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck."Where's Henry? one of his campmates asked.""Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail.""You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!""A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

Birth of a Candy Bar It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Krunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snicker and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why more...

Henry's dad was a farmer in a poor district of the country. One day his Uncle Festus came to visit. Since there were limited accommodations, they were required to sleep together.
When Uncle Festus came into the bedroom, he saw Henry kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed.
Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed.
Henry looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Why, the same thing you're doing", replied Uncle Festus.
"Ma's gonna be mad", said Henry, "The pot's on this side."

Otis, Henry, and Tom were sitting in a bar discussing their wives. Henry started by saying, "I think my wife is fooling around on me. I went home the other day and found a hammer and a saw under our bed. I think she is cheatin' on me with a carpenter!"Tom answered, "Ya, I think my wife is not faithful either. The other day I went home and found a pipe wrench and some pipes under my bed. I think she is cheatin' on me with a plumber!"Otis then joins in and says, "Well, if you think that's bad, I've got one for ya. I went home yesterday and found a cowboy under my bed. I think my Lina is cheatin' on me with a horse!"

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives? He liked to chop and change!

A reporter asked Henry Ford the secret of his successful married life. "Same as with cars - STICK TO ONE MODEL."
George W. Bush at a press conference "A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father.""That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesn't matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!"

If Henry IV were cloned, would he be Henry V, or Henry IV Jr. or,
would he be Henry IV Part II?
(Willy Wagstaff, more usually known as William Shakespeare)