Henry Jokes / Recent Jokes

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angeltells Ford, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention, the assembly line for the automobile, changed the world. As areward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven." Ford thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, himself." The befeathered fellow at the gate takes Ford to theThrone Room and introduces him to God. Ford then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?" God says, "Ah, yes." "Well,"says Ford, You have some major design flaws in your invention: l. There's too much front end protrusion2. It chatters at high speeds3. The rear end wobbles too much, and4. The intake is placed to close to the exhaust." "Hmmm.." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the CelestialSupercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it. "It maybe that my more...

Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you're so smart, what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There he is greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind: "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says, "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe and 65 other 18th-century American revolutionaries. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams, "This is not what I was promised!"
An angel replies: "I told you there would be 72 more...

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, George Washington greets him. "How dare you attack the nation I helped build!" yells Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry approaches and says, "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama in the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says, "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He strikes Osama on the kneecap with a large spiked hammer. Osama is subjected to a series of similar beatings from John Randolph, John Adams, James Monroe, and a steady procession of other people who have the same love for liberty and the United States. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged. As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams in panic, "This is not what I was more...

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams - "this is not what I was promised!"
An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians more...

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington."How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Washington, slapping Osama in the face.Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.Osama is subject to similar beatings from James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams - "this is not what I was promised!"An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you...What the hell did more...

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was. "Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away." "Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off." "But that's just what I did, mommy."