Herd Jokes / Recent Jokes
If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
Q. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
A. Beef strokin' off.
Farmer Jones bought a herd of pigs from a Roman farmer who moved into the next valley and boy, is he sorry. The hogs won't come to the feed trough unless he calls them in Pig Latin.
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so good for you!
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that’s why beer is so good for you!
How are an elephant and a banana just alike?They are both yellow. . . . uh. . . . Except for the elephant, of course. What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?Look! A herd of elephants coming over the hill! What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses coming over the hill?Nothing. He didn't recognize them. What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?Look! A bunch of bananas coming over the hill! (Jane was color-blind.)
What is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey.What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?"Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colorblind)