Heven Jokes / Recent Jokes

these three girls got ran over and go to heven.when they got there they saw ducks every where.
there was this sign that said"DO NOT STEP ON A DUCK OR FACE THE CONCEQUENCES!!!"one of them thought no one will find out so she stepped on one and this angel came.je said now you will be hooked onto this ugly guy for your whole life. so he puts this chain on her and this ugly guy.
the second one tried to get something to eat but she stepped on a duck.she got hooked on another ugly guy.
the third one thought if you sit there you could get a prize for not stepping on a duck. she sat there and the angel came to her. she thought she got a prize with the hottie guy coming over there.
she was happy but the angel said no your the ugly one.

You might have heard this before.
Clinton and Pope died on the same day. Dur to an document error
the Pope went to the hell and Clinton went to the heven.
Then the Pope complained Satan the leader in the hell claiming that
he is not supposed to go there and requested to recheck documentation.
Then Satan contacted God and double checked documents. Then they found
the documentation error and arranged to exchange Clinton to the Hell
and Pope to the Heven. The correction of documents took 5 minutes only.
During the exchange Clinton met Pope in between and shouted at Pope saying "Why the hell you want to go to heven? "
Then Pope replied "I want to see Vergin Mary! ". Then clinton replied
"Then you are 5 minutes late! "