Hitting Jokes / Recent Jokes
These are stories from help desks around the country.
At 3: 37 a. m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up.
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write' click' and I more...
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. Excuse me for disturbing you, maam, he said politely, but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and Ive noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread! Thats right. Every day you wallop him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were hitting him with a chocolate cake....? Well, today is his birthday!
A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."
A bored truck driver had a nasty habit of swerving to hit attorneys he found walking along side of the highway.
One day as he was driving along he came across a Nun who appeared to be having car trouble.
Pulling over to offer the Nun a ride to the nearest service station, the Nun graciously thanked the driver for stopping and accepted his offer.
After driving a few miles the truck driver saw an attorney walking along the highway.
As was his custom, the truck driver swerved to hit the attorney but, at the last moment, remembered he had the Nun as a passenger and abruptly swerved away to avoid hitting the attorney.
Surprised upon hearing a loud 'thump' as he passed the attorney, the truck driver peered in his rear view only to see the attorney lying injured along side of the road.
"I'm so sorry Sister, I thought I missed hitting that attorney!" the truck driver plead.
"You did my son, but I got him with the door!" gleed the Nun.
What does a redneck call hitting a deer at 65 mph?
- Fast food.