Honeymoon Jokes / Recent Jokes

A groom and his newlywed wife go to the Hilton on their honeymoon. They check in at the front, and the receptionist gives the groom a key to the bridal suite. The whole evening, the people in the next room are phoning down to the main desk to complain about the moaning, which doesn't stop for one minute the whole night.
The next morning at 6 a. m., the groom calls room service.
"Hi, could I get some breakfast brought up here?"
"Sure, what would you like?" asks room service.
The groom says, "Well, I have to replace all the energy I lost last night, so you'd better get me 6 fried eggs, 9 sausages, 12 slices of toast, and 6 liters of orange juice."
Room service replies, "Gee, that's quite an appetite you have there. Is that for your wife as well, or just for you?"
"No, that's just for me. Can you send up six pieces of lettuce for my wife as well?"
Room service asks, "Why six pieces of more...

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it werent for my money, we wouldnt be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it werent for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldnt on a honeymoon, nor wouldthere be any "we" in the first place."

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly, she burst out crying. "But mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language... things I had never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... Please, mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so embarrassed. They're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama... words like DUST, more...

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother." Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother." Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!"No sooner had she spoken the words than she burst out crying. "But mamma. . . as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!""Now Sarah. . . " her mother answered. "Calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?" "Please don't make me tell you, mamma." wept the daughter." I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!""Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. . . Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter more...

The hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready.The wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "honey,I have something to tell you.I'm a virgin" The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads straight to his fathers house. When he gets there his father says "son, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your honeymoon." The son says "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin". "Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good enough for her family,she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours."

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter more...

Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary's pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, "Waiter! Waiter! Come over here!"
The waiter says, "Can I help you, sir?"

Gary yells, "There's a hair in my spaghetti! Get it the fuck out of here!"

The waiter apologizes up and down as he quickly takes the spaghetti away.

Mary looks over at Gary, and shaking her head, she whispers, "What a hypocrite you are. You spent most of last night with your face full of hair."

Gary says, "Yeah? Well, how long do you think I'd have stayed if I found a piece of spaghetti in there?"