Hood Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to visit her grandmother, when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree."Ah-ha....," The Big Bad Wolf said, "Now I've got you and I'm going toeat you! EAT! EAT! EAT!..."Little Red Riding Hood said angrily,"Damn it, doesn't anybody fuck anymore?"

In Merry Olde England outlaws were the celebrities of their day. At the Sheriff's Court in Nottingham, a Terry Tongue-Tied of Tunbridge Wells was up on a charge of' Indecently propositioning a man of the Cloth in a public place.
His defense spoke on his behalf. "Your Honor, my client is an innocent man. He had come to Nottingham with the expressed duty of collecting autographs of our famous outlaws. He had approached Robin Hood in the forest and asked of him tentatively' Hobin Rood?' to which he had been corrected and told,' No my friend, it's Robin Hood.' Our infamous outlaw then gave my client his esteemed signature. The same had happened later with a Will Scarlet although he had addressed him as' Skill Warlet?' You see Your Honor, my client becomes completely tongue tied in the presence of anyone famous."
At that point the Judge had decided to hear from the plaintiff who had brought the prosecution. "Er what's the name of the plaintiff again?" asked more...

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer) were out driving, when their car broke down, and they couldn't get it started.
The mechanical engineer suggested that it was a failure somewhere in the drive train, but after checking it out he found that the engine and transmission were fine.
The electrical engineer thought it might be the ignition system; lifted the hood, checked for a spark, and found that everything was OK.
The MCSE was driving, and suddenly gets out of the car, slams the door, opens the hood and looks inside, slams that, gets back into the car, opens and closes all the windows and looks at his passengers and says, "There, it should start right up now..."

Little Red Riding Hood was getting ready to go and deliver a basket of goodies to Grandmother when her mother stopped her, saying "Little Red, you had better be careful in the woods because the Big Bad Wolf is out today. If he catches you, he is going to lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and fuck your little red socks off."
"Oh I'll be all right," Little Red answered as she pulled out a rather large shotgun from the basket she was carrying. Assured that her daughter would be safe, she allowed Little Red to leave the house and begin the journey to Grandmother's house.
Along the trail in the woods, Little Red came across her friends, the three little pigs (don't ask what they are doing in the woods, after all it is just a joke)
"Little Red, Little Red," they called to her, "you had better be careful because the Big Bad Wolf is in the woods today. He said that if he catches you, he is going to lift up your more...