Hood Jokes / Recent Jokes

A COUPLE OF teen-agers craving something sweet drove to the nearest Baskin-Robbins. They bought ice cream cones and returned to their car to be comfortable. As they settled back to enjoy themselves, two ravens landed on the front hood and began to caw and flutter, and to peck at the windshield. The young man finally figured out what they wanted. He finished his ice cream, opened the window, and put his empty cone on the hood. The birds immediately settled down to eat. "You're wonderful," said his girlfriend. "How did you ever think of that?" "Nothing to it," he replied. "It was just a case of stilling two birds with one cone."

The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the
private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from
the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job; if he
were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police
what he was doing.
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000. He gets
greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia
soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods
after the deaf collector.
The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The
deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the mafia drags the guy
to an interpreter.
The mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."
The interpreter signs,"Where's the money?"
The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The interpreter more...

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were "protecting." Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends someo of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter. The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know more...

The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job-if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.The mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking more...

The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police, they decided to use a deaf person for the job. That way, should he get caught, he would be unable to communicate to the police what he was doing. During his first week on the job, the deaf collector picks up over $60,000. He quickly becomes greedy, decides to keep the money and hides it in a safe place. Realizing that their collection is late, the mafia sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf man and ask him where the money is. Since the deaf collector is unable to communicate with them, they drag him to an interpreter. The mafia hood tells the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs "Where's the money?" to the deaf man. The deaf man signs back, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he doesn't more...

Before Little Red Riding Hood went through the forest to see her granny, Mother warned her: "There is a Wolf in the woods. Be careful and if you happen to meet him hide where you can."
So Little Red Riding Hood went through the forest. Suddenly she heard something move nearby. As she saw no place to hide she hid her face in her skirt.
As she wore no underpants, it was a magnificient view for a young hunter who appeared on the path. And he said to himself: "Why not to make use of the opportunity that is offering to me?"
And he began - you know what.
After a while Little Red Riding Hood dared to ask: "Are you the Wolf?" still hidding her face.
"Of cource I am," answered the hunter.
"And what are you doing? Are you eating me?"
"Yes, I am."
"So go on, wolf. I like it very much."

(Disclaimer-Some of this stuff is illegal.)
*Take his nightstick and play whack-a-mole with his head *Ask the cop if you can use his pepper spray to "spice up" your takeout * *Take his flashlight and play flashlight tag with yourself. *When he walks up to you, look at his gut and say "I thought you had to be physically fit to be a cop."*Draw happy faces on all the pages in his ticket book. *Ask if his bullet-proof vest would protect him from projectile vomiting.*Ask him if you can take his squad car out for a joy-ride. *When he ask you for your licence say, "Oh sure officer, I could reach it if you'd hold my beer." *Explain speeding with, "See officer, I was driving along when I droped my bag of crack. I tried to pick it up but, when I did, my gun fell and jammed my foot against the gas pedal."*Lie on the ground and aks him to draw your outline in chalk. *Tell him you wanted to be a cop but decided to graduate high school instead.*Ask him more...