Horse Jokes / Recent Jokes
A king travels through the desert, when he suddenly discovers a man captured under a big rock, he throws a rope around the rock and ties it to his horse and pulls the rock off the man. The man, gratefull as he is, tells the king that he's really a great sorcerer, and gives the king three wishes.
The king looks at the Sorcerer and says "OK, then I wish to be immortal", the sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done." The king takes a knife and stabs himself and nothing happens, then he says "OK, then I want my horse to be immortal." The sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done". The king, happy as can be, stabs his horse and nothing happens, then he says "OK, then I want my horses genitals." The sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done".
The king, still happy, jumps on his horse and rides back to his castle, in the doorway he meets his friend Peter, jumps off the horse and tells Peter that he's now immortal. Peter laughs, but more...
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.
The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper.
Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull."
Benny didn't move.
Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger."
Still, Benny didn't move.
Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard."
Benny just stood.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said,
"Okay, Benny, pull."
Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.
The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."
...and gets a call from a friend.
"I know this midget who wants to buy a horse. He has a slight speech impediment, so listen carefully, I'm sending him over." The Midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse.
"A female horth," the midget replies. So the owner shows him one. "Nith looking horth, can I see her mouth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes. "OK, what about the earsth?"
Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows the ears. "OK, finally, I'd like to see her twat." With that, the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head up the horse's twat, then pulls him out. Shaking his head, the midget says, "Perhapth I should rephrase. I'd like to see her run!"
A woman passenger in a horse-drawn cab has offered the driver
a large tip if he can deliver her to her destination in a
hurry. However, she is horrified at the cruel whipping the
driver is giving the horse to make him go faster.
"My good man, is there no other way you could urge the horse
along?" she asks.
"Yessum," the cab driver cheerfully replies, "but, I've got
to save his balls for the hill!"
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper.Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull."Benny didn't move.Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger."Still, Benny didn't move.Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard."Benny just stood.Then the farmer nonchalantly said,"Okay, Benny, pull."Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."
What does ever horse and rider do at the same time? Grow old!