Horse Jokes / Recent Jokes

This man was sitting qietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. The Man asked "What's that for?" His wife replied "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name MaryLou written on it." The Man Said "Oh honey, remember when we went to the horse races? MaryLou was the name of the horse that I bet on". The wife looked satisfied and went off to do the rest of the house work. Three days later when the man was seated with newspaper, he is once again treated with the frying pan swatting. The man says "What's that for?" The wife replied;" Your horse called!".
Man

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"

What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

There is this dumb blonde who likes animals, but is kind of afraid of horses. She still likes horses, so she decides to overcome her fear. So one day she hops on a horse, and the horse starts galloping and won't stop. She starts to get a little afraid but the horse won't stop. Everybody is watching and she doesn't know what to do. So she grabs its leg and the horse still won't stop. Then she decides to jump but her foot gets stuck in the stirrup. So she is bouncing on the ground and doesn't know what to do. Then the Wal-Mart manager comes running out and pulls the plug out of the socket and saves her.

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Buddy didn't move.Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull." Buddy didn't respond.Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Jennie, pull." Nothing.Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull." And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"

What duo were famous for stealing horses? Bonnie and Clydesdale!

A horse walks into a bar, orders a beer, sits down at one of the tables, and starts reading his paper.
The bartender is a bit shocked by all this, but pours the beer, and brings it over to the horse, who proffers a ten dollar bill for it. Now the barman figures the horse isn't that bright, so he decides to pull the old' short-change' trick on him. He duly goes back to the horse with 1 dollar. The horse doesn't say a word.

The horse eventually finishes his beer and goes up to the bar to order another. Says the bartender to him, "Y'know, we don't get many horses in here."
To which the horse replies, "At nine dollars a beer, I'm not surprised!"