Hospital Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day the nurse who was working in the mental hospital walked towards the pool side in the hospital where our hero John was admitted. Unfortunately she dived in to the pool, her bad luck, john saw that as he jumped in to the pool and saved her.
Then the doctors decided to discharge him from the hospital, once a servant came to john and told him that doctors are calling him. When he visited the doctors, they told him that, now he is in good condition and he is sensible now, so he can leave the hospital, but conveyed the bad news that the nurse he saved hung herself in the toilet and she died.
Then john told the doctors that she didn't hung herself, but he hung her there to dry.
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his system upset. Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the hell happened?" Still staring down, the drunk replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost!
There was this maniac who just escaped out of prison, he went home and he got his shotgun and he wanted to do a drive by. He was driving anlong and he saw a car he shot at the car, inside was a pregant ladie that was going to the hospital to have triplets. Well when she got to the hospital they couldnt fine anything. So she had her 3 boys. 13 years later the first boy ask her mom, mom why im I peeing out bullets, she said its a long story I tell you later. The second boy comes in and goes mom why am i peeing out bullets, long story tell you later. The thrid boy comes in and goes mom... Mom goes i know i know why are you peeing out bullets, no actully i was jacking off and i shot the dog.
The new mother got out of bed for the first time since her childbirth dressed in her robe and walked down the hospital hallway to the nurses desk where she asked for a phone book.
"What are you doing out here! You should be in your room resting," the nurse exclaimed.
"I want to search through the phone book for a name for my baby," the new mother replied.
"You don't have to do that here. The hospital furnished a booklet to all new mothers to assist them in picking a first name for their baby."
"You don't understand," the woman said and frowned. "My baby already has a FIRST name!"
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The more...
The new mother got out of bed for the first time since her childbirth dressed in her robe and walked down the hospital hallway to the nurses desk where she asked for a phone book."What are you doing out here! You should be in your room resting," the nurse exclaimed."I want to search through the phone book for a name for my baby," the new mother replied."You don't have to do that here. The hospital furnished a booklet to all new mothers to assist them in picking a first name for their baby.""You don't understand," the woman said and frowned. "My baby already has a FIRST name!"