Host Jokes / Recent Jokes

On a famous TV game show A BLONDE contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and ONE MILLION DOLLARS! "To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The contestant, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that she had drawn such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and,. .. Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain...' Olive?!?'". "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."

Ask the host, "Who threw this cheesy party, anyway?"

Party Host: Hello? Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her? Party Host: I'd be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?

Bored in a party? Here a list of what you can do:
Karate chop everywhere and everything. Yell really, really loud. A few sudden kicks would be worthwhile as well.
Wear wool or feathers and sneeze all night. "The doctor says I'm not allergic to anything except sheep and birds..."
If someone says the word no to you, say, "How dare you turn down the prince / princess of Ugranialo!"
Burst into the room an hour late, sopping wet and screaming, "I've done it! I've found Atlantis!"
Pick out the oldest women at the party, run up to her, and exclaim, "Grandmother! it's me, Anastasia!"
If it is a summer party in the evening, break into a duet with another guest: "Summer nights". Persuade the host to sing "You're the one that I want" with you.
Come in saying, the guy outside in the lab coat is looking for (insert name of host).
How to entertain yourself when stuck in a boring party:
Speak in more...

There was a math contest and all of the audience were blondes. The contestant was brunette, but she was still stupid. The host say "
OK, its time for our 1st question. What is 5+2? "
Uhhhhhh....9?"
says the brunette. The audience says,"
GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!!!"
"
OK, says the host, What is 3+3? "
Uhhhhhhhhhh...5? says the brunette. The audience says,"
GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
"
ok"
, says the host, "
this one is going to be easy. What is 1+1?"
"
Oh, that is easy! 2! says the brunette. Then the audience says, "
GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party. Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on... just a pair of pants." What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host." A premature ejaculation." said the man - "I just came in my pants!"

When asked by their host if she would like another drink, the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly and said,
"No thank you. My husband limits me to one drink."
"Why is that," the host asked?
Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it; after two drinks. .. anyone can!"