Hostile Jokes

Excerpted from the book "Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest," (c) 1996 by John J Kohut and Roland Sweet
While defending a man in D.C. Superior Court accused of beating his girlfriend's 12-year-old daughter, a Washington attorney announced after three days that he was withdrawing from the case.
He explained that he had expected the trial to proceed in a more timely manner and had purchased nonrefundable airline tickets for a vacation.
"It's manifestly necessary in my view that you continue the defense of your client," the judge told the attorney. When this plea failed, the judge threatened to hold him in custody to assure his presence in the courtroom.
The attorney warned that such a move would only harm his client. "I mean, I'll just be extremely hostile to the defendant. I'm just going to be totally hostile, totally hostile," he told the judge, who was forced to declare a mistrial.

The local game had been a bitter affair, with neither side giving anything away and an unusual amount of hostile bowling. Several injuries were sustained, and after the game one of the batsmen was seen pacing up and down the pitch.

'Ah, I see you're reliving the battle,' said the groundsman.

'No,' said the player.' I'm looking for my teeth'

Who says they don't have their priorities straight?
While defending a man in D. C. Superior Court accused of beating his girlfriend's 12-year-old daughter, a Washington attorney announced after three days that he was withdrawing from the case.
He explained that he had expected the trial to proceed in a more timely manner and had purchased nonrefundable airline tickets for a vacation.
"It's manifestly necessary in my view that you continue the defense of your client," the judge told the attorney. When this plea failed, the judge threatened to hold him in custody to assure his presence in the courtroom.
The attorney warned that such a move would only harm his client. "I mean, I'll just be extremely hostile to the defendant. I'm just going to be totally hostile, totally hostile," he told the judge, who was forced to declare a mistrial.

Man`s Best Friend
"Let me give you a little serious political advice. One single word. Puppies. Worth the points." -George Bush Sr., in 1990
"If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow." -George W. Bush, in Jan. 2000
Political Savvy
"It`s no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another." -George Bush Sr., in 1988
"Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you`re going to win. And that`s where I`m coming from." -George W. Bush, in Sept. 2000
Freudian Slips
"For seven and a half years I`ve worked alongside President Reagan. We`ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We`ve had some sex... uh... setbacks." -George Bush Sr., in 1988
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