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It was so hot when we went on holiday last year that we had to take turns sitting in each others shadow.

Yo mama's like...

- Yo mama's like a T. V., even a two-year-old could turn her on. - Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and then comes back for more. - Yo mama's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded. - Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine... five cents a blow. - Yo mama's like Chinese food... sweet, sour, and cheap. - Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. - Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away. - Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. - Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy. - Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit. - Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. - Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner. - Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day. - Yo mama's more...

George and Lenny decide to cross North America in a hot air balloon. However, neither were particularly experienced balloonists, and Lenny’s mind quickly drifted from navigation to thoughts of how clouds look like cuddly little bunny rabbits. Upon realizing that they were lost, George declared, “Lenny - we are going to have to lose some altitude so we can figure out where we are. ”
George lets some hot air out of the balloon, which slowly descended below the clouds, but he still couldn’t tell where they were. Far below, they could see a man on the ground. George lowered the balloon, to ask the man their location.
When they were low enough, George called down to the man, “Hey, can you tell us where we are? ” The man on the ground yelledback, “You’re in a balloon, about 100 feet up in the air. ”
George Called down to the man, “You must be a lawyer. ” “Gee, George, ” Lenny replied, “How can you tell? ” George answered, “Because the advice he more...

Having a boyfriend is cool, but not having a boyfriend is just Hot and every girl wants to be hot. You won’t have to ‘waste’ your money on him. You can flirt with other guys. You won’t fail in your studies. You can spend money on your family instead of on one person. You will have happier friendship life. You won’t have to waste your time watching Wrestling with him instead of your favorite show. You won’t have to lie to your parents about going to see your friends. No nightmares about him. No waiting for his stupid phone calls. When you’ve no boyfriend, he can’t dump you! No boyfriend, no Tears. You will have more family outing and gatherings to attend then to see his face everyday. If you don’t have a boyfriend your free to do what you wish to do. Guys can be bossy at times so no boyfriend means no1 can boss you around. You won’t have to hear his nonstop talks that you don’t even care about. Having no boyfriend is a Stress Free life. All decision and choices more...

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." The sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The sardar says, "I'll take
it!" The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

An American will say, "Hot day!" A Canadian will say, "Hot day, eh?" meaning "It's a hot day, isn't it?" This is something deeper than spelling or pronunciation. It goes to the heart of the less-assertive Canadian character. The United States was born when Americans revolted against King George III and asserted their independence. Canada never came to a similar point of self-assertion and that little word "eh?" is their refusal even to assert that it's a hot day without inviting somebody else to verify it. One definition of a Candian is "a North American who refuses to join the revolution". Another way to tell the difference between a Canadian and an American is to invite the suspected Canuck to lunch and watch him eat. If he's really upper crust, he'll eat like an Englishman, with knife and fork held firmly in his right and left hands. He'll cut with his knife, pack the results on the back of his fork and convey the food to his mouth more...

A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object. She asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"

The clerk replies, "That is a thermos."

The blonde then asks, "What does it do?"

The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps keeps cold things cold."

The blonde says, "I'll take it!"

The next day, she walks into work with her new thermos. Her blonde boss sees her and asks, "What is that shiny object you have?"

She said, "It's a thermos."

The boss then says, "What does it do?"

She replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"

The blonde replies, "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."