Howe Jokes / Recent Jokes

Nowe u two can rite gud! Howe two rite gudFrank L. ViscoVice-president and Senior Copywriter at US Advertising. My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules: Avoid alliteration. Always. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)Employ the vernacular. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. Contractions aren't necessary. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. One should never generalize. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: ``I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.''Comparisons are as bad as cliches. Don't be redundant; don't more use words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. Profanity sucks dick. Be more or less specific. Understatement is always best. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. One-word sentences? Never. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a more...

A rancher walked up to the window at the post office, where a new clerk was sorting mail.
"Any mail for Mike Howe?" the rancher asked.
The clerk ignored him and the rancher repeated his question in a louder voice. Without looking up, the clerk said, "No, none for your cow and none for your horse, either."

Nowe u two can rite gud!
Howe two rite gud
Frank L. Visco
Vice-president and Senior Copywriter at US Advertising.
My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:
Avoid alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Contractions aren't necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: ''I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.''
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Don't be redundant; don't more use words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
Profanity sucks dick.
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than more...