Huge Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three honeymoon couples find themselves in adjacent rooms in a hotel. As they are getting undressed, the first man says to his wife, "What huge buttocks!" Much offended, she threw him into the corridor. The second man, also undressing, says to his wife, "Christ! What huge tits!." She is also greatly offended and throws him out into the corridor. Several minutes later, the third newlywed husband arrives in the corridor as well. The other two ask, "What happened? Did you put your foot in it?" "No, but I could have!" the third man replied.

The huge Air Canada Jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport (Toronto) on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the intercom. "This is Capt. Johnson, we're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and enjoy your stay in Toronto".
Well the Capt. forgets to switch off the intercom. The whole plane can now hear the conversation from the cockpit.
The co-pilot says to the pilot "Well skipper, wotcha gonna do in Toronto?"
Now all ears in the plane are listening in to this conversation.
"Well", says the skipper, "First I'm gonna check into the hotel and go for a mega-huge dump. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess out for supper, you know, the one with the huge tits.
I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and slip the old salami to her all night".
Well, everyone in the plane's trying to get a look at the new stewardess. She's so embarrassed she runs from more...

Once there was a guy wandering through the desert. he was starved and very thirsty so he was very excited when he saw this huge house out of nowhere. He walked up and rang the doorbell. After a couple of rings an old chinese guy answered. The starved man begged him for a meal and some shelter. The Old man said that he could stay as long as he needed to, but there was one exception the old man said "you can not touch my daughter. If you do you will experience the 3 worst chinese tortures". The man, being very hungry and tired, quickly agreed. " how good looking can she be if she lives out in the middle of nowhere" he thought. That night at dinner he saw the old man's daughter for the first time. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He tried not to stare at her but he couldn't help it. After dinner she handed him a note that said " meet me in my room at midnight". That night after the old man had gone to sleep he went into the more...

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!"
Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.
"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says.
"Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."

Three retired old timers were sitting around comparing what they each felt was their most exciting experience.
The fireman talked about a huge fire that had occurred at a university several years back. There were flames and fire trucks from several fire departments, but he thought the most exciting part of it all had to be the naked co-eds jumping from their dorm windows into his arms. Both the other gents agreed that had to be a very exciting experience.
The sheriff told them about the terrifying excitement of a shoot-out with Bonnie and Clyde way back in his younger days. Both the other gents nodded and agreed that would have been very exciting.
The undertaker then told the other two old timers what he felt was his most exciting experience. "One evening I got a call to pick up a body that was under a sheet in a hotel room. When I arrived, the guy had a huge erection. I knew it would be impossible for me to get him through the lobby like that. So, I grabbed an old more...

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?"
The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".
"OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"
"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert", the camel mother answers.
"Thanks Mom" replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??"
The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."
"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these more...

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping around, answering ads in the newspaper,and not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic harley with a "for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner: "This bike is beautiful!! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape."
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of vaseline.
So the guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a harley fan). That night, he decides to ride the more...