Hump Jokes

Three Labrador retrievers (chocolate, yellow and black colored) are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation. The black lab turns to the chocolate and says, "So why are you here?"
The chocolate lab replies, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything - the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black lab says, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna give me Prozac", came the reply from the chocolate lab. "All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."
He then turns to the yellow lab and asks, "Why are you here?"
The yellow lab says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I crossed the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."
"So what are more...

Two drunks staggering home one night and one decides to take a shortcut through the cemetery. Half way through an apparition appears. "What's that on your back?" the ghost asks.
"It's a hump" says the drunk The ghost puts his hand on the drunk's back and the hump disappears.
He races home and next night at the pub he tells his mate all about it. His mate is amazed and says he is going through the cemetery that night as he has a wooden leg and wants a proper leg. Again half way through the cemetery a ghost appears... "What's wrong with your leg?" he asks.
"It's a wooden leg," says the drunk.
"Have you got a Hump?" asks the ghost.
"No" replies the drunk. So the ghost puts his hand on the drunk's back and says, "Here, you can have this one.

Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump me Dump me.

Two drunks staggering home one night and one decides to take a shortcut through the cemetery. Half way through an apparition appears. "What's that on your back?" the ghost asks.

"It's a hump" says the drunk The ghost puts his hand on the drunk's back and the hump disappears.

He races home and next night at the pub he tells his mate all about it. His mate is amazed and says he is going through the cemetery that night as he has a wooden leg and wants a proper leg. Again half way through the cemetery a ghost appears... "What's wrong with your leg?" he asks.

"It's a wooden leg," says the drunk.

"Have you got a Hump?" asks the ghost.

"No" replies the drunk. So the ghost puts his hand on the drunk's back and says, "Here, you can have this one."

A man walk in to a bar and says i want 14 beers the bartinder says you can only have 7 at a time the man says what ever give me 7 he drinks thim then he says give me 7 more he drinks thim to he says im so f**cking drunk i can hump a cow the bartender says go sit in the corner! than a nother person comes in he said i want 14 beers he drinks thim he says im so f**cking drunk i can hump a cow the guy in the corner says moo!!