Hundred Jokes / Recent Jokes

Guy walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender. Reaching into his pants pocket, he pulls out a hundred dollar bill. "Set up everybody in the place!" he shouts. The bartender obliges.
Suddenly, a little man jumps out of the guy's pocket, runs down the bar, and kicks all of the drinks, smokes, change, etc on the floor. He runs back and jumps back into the guy's pocket.
The Bartender asks what's going on. The guy just reaches back into his pants pocket, pulls out another hundred, and says "just set everybody up again." Bartender obliges once more, suspiciously watching the guy.
Once more the little man appears from the guy's shirt pocket. Runs down the bar, breaks the glasses, pitches the napkins into the air, etc. Runs back and jumps into the shirt pocket again. This time the guy buttons the pocket.
Bartender says "explain yourself, or leave."
Guy says "Well....I was walking down the beach one day, and ran across a bottle in the more...

Guy walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender. Reaching into his pants pocket, he pulls out a hundred dollar bill. "Set up everybody in the place!" he shouts. The bartender obliges.Suddenly, a little man jumps out of the guy's pocket, runs down the bar, and kicks all of the drinks, smokes, change, etc on the floor. He runs back and jumps back into the guy's pocket.The Bartender asks what's going on. The guy just reaches back into his pants pocket, pulls out another hundred, and says "just set everybody up again." Bartender obliges once more, suspiciously watching the guy.Once more the little man appears from the guy's shirt pocket. Runs down the bar, breaks the glasses, pitches the napkins into the air, etc. Runs back and jumps into the shirt pocket again. This time the guy buttons the pocket.Bartender says "explain yourself, or leave."Guy says "Well....I was walking down the beach one day, and ran across a bottle in the sand. Turns out there is a more...

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner.

She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?"

"A hundred dollars."

"Damn. All I've got is thirty."

"Hold on," she says and runs back to Harry. "What can he get for thirty dollars?"

"A handjob," Harry replies.

She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE male unit. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."

She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy more...

A sailor arrives at port after having been at sea for six long months. Being extremely horny, the first thing he does upon setting foot on terra firm is to head straight to the nearest brothel. He goes right up to the madam and says,' How much?' The madam replies that her girls charge two hundred dollars and that she has only one immediately available. The sailor feels that this seems a bit pricey, but in his desperate condition he has no choice. He agrees to the terms and is shown upstairs to a room to await the arrival of the woman. When the hooker gets to the room, she opens the door only to find the sailor furiously jerking off.' Wait a minute!' cries the hooker.' What are you doing?' The sailor looks up at her and answers,' Hey, for two hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to let you have the easy one, do you?'

Bill and Boris are taking a break from a long summit. Boris says to Bill, "Bill, you know, I have a big problem. I don't know what to do about it. I have a hundred bodyguards and one of them is a traitor. I don't know which one." "Not a big deal Boris, I'm stuck with a hundred economists I have to listen to all the time before any policy decision, and only one tells the truth but it's never the same one."

Q. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more
than 1989 American dollar bills?
A. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar
bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand
nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.

Santa goes to consult a famous specialist about his medical problem.
"How much do I owe you?"
"My fee is Rs 500," replies the physician.
"Five hundred? That's impossible."
"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to Rs 300."
"Three hundred for one visit? Ridiculous."
"Well, then, could you afford Two hundred?"
"Who has so much money?"
"Look," replies the doctor, growing irritated, "Just give me Fifty rupees and be gone."
"I can give you Twenty rupees only." says Santa, "Take it or leave it."
"I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in This Friggin' town?"
"Listen, Doctor," says Santa. "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive."